Side by side through the fires of hell
by Fictional Skill
Summary: Shepard is close to a breakdown, and Garrus tries to help. One-shot. No romance.


**AN: _After years of cajoling I have finally written my first fanfic. Consider it a self-insert I suppose, as I am using the Mass Effect setting and characters as a lens through which to view a real life friendship. It's a one-shot, basically entirely dialogue, and I'm not sure I adequately captured the characters' personalities. It's dedicated to the same pushy wench who has spent those years being the one nagging me to write something. I hope you enjoy it, Lis, and never forget that you've got a Garrus in me :)_**

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Garrus started slightly at the hiss of the Battery doors opening; his eyes momentarily widening in surprise at the sight of his rather haggard looking commander entering the room.

"Shepard?"

The curiosity in his voice went completely unnoticed as Shepard responded.

"Hey Garrus."

The smile accompanying the greeting was brittle, and the look of complete exhaustion was one he definitely didn't associate with the indomitable force that was the first human Spectre.

"Not that I don't appreciate the visit," he gazed at her a moment in concern before finally putting voice to his thoughts "but didn't Doctor Chakwas order you to get some bed rest after what happened on Thessia?"

She grunted noncommittally and shrugged, not deigning to answer. The silence stretched on almost uncomfortably long before she relented.

"I was feeling a bit alone and wanted some company." Then, as she noticed the concerned stare her friend was piercing her with, she forced a grin. "Besides, watching you and your calibrations is just as likely to put me to sleep as being in bed is."

"The good Doctor never mentioned anything about sleep. I'm sure you and Alenko could find some interesting things to do in bed."

Shepard had known Garrus long enough to recognise the particular tilt and spread of his mandibles as the turian equivalent of a lecherous grin. Her own grin became a tremulous smile in response.

"Kaidan and I aren't exactly talking anymore." As the turian's grin fell away she felt inexplicably guilty about ruining his playful mood.

"Oh." He fell silent momentarily, feeling slightly awkward, before gently prodding her for clarification. "I thought the two of you had worked through your differences."

"Apparently not." Shepard looked away, a wave of bitterness and resentment washing over her as she bit out the words.

Garrus nodded silently, then sighed. Stepping away from his console he motioned the commander forward.

"While you're here you may as well take a look at these calibrations for me. I'm not sure I've got them quite right."

She narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

"Garrus, you spend all your time in here, what am I meant to be able to do with this if you..." she stumbled forward as he gently shoved her toward the console.

"Humour me."

Frown on her face, she examined the readout on the screen before her.

"They are a bit off. Did you do this deliberately?"

The Turian remained quiet; smiling softly as he noticed the recently ever-present tenseness leaving her shoulders as she worked. It was a good ten minutes before she was finished, and the Shepard that turned back to face him looked remarkably more calm than the one who had entered the room.

"It's how I stay sane." he offered, ending the companionable silence they had been sharing. She gestured for him to continue, and so he attempted to explain. "It's simple work, it's something I can do without thinking. It's something I can be in control of even when I can't control anything else." He shrugged. "It takes my mind off things for a while."

She lifted a hand and placed it on his shoulder; a small but genuine smile spreading across her face.

"Thanks, Garrus. I mean it."

"It's what friends are for." he declared, smiling. "And, if you need to talk to someone..." he trailed off, looking slightly uncomfortable, before continuing "well, I mean I'm not exactly good at this whole sharing warm and fuzzy feelings thing, and I've never been good at giving advice, Liara or specialist Traynor would probably be a lot better at that." He paused, in thought." Guess that's why there are far more Asari and Human social workers than there are Turian ones. We're generally taught to just suck it up." He paused again, before hastily adding "Not that I'm suggesting that's what you should do. I just..."

"Garrus, relax. I know. And thank you." Her smile broke into a wider grin. "You know, you're actually kind of adorable when you get all awkward and nervous like that."

The turian spread his hands, puffed out his chest, and lifted his chin in mock arrogance.

"I prefer ruggedly handsome and incredibly charming, but I suppose I can live with adorable. Just make sure you don't spread it around. I do have a reputation to uphold."

Shepard snorted, stifling a laugh and smiling fondly at the turian before heaving a deep sigh and deciding to take him up on his offer.

"It's hard, sometimes, to carry on."

The turian nodded, but remained silent. Content to simply listen and let his commander vent. After a few more seconds she continued, although her halting voice made it clear it was a struggle.

"I try so hard to do everything right, but lately it feels like for every thing that goes right, another 5 things go wrong. I'm fighting so hard to come out on top, but it just feels like I'm treading water and slowly slipping backwards. All this pressure, all these expectations."

Her voice was trembling now, and Garrus was reminded of just how strong the commander was to endure all this and still keep going. Her voice sounded uncharacteristically meek as she continued.

"There's only so much one person can take before..."

"Before your friend picks you up, dusts you off, and tells you that you're the most amazing person he's ever known."

Shepard made a hiccuping noise as a laugh intermingled with a strangled sob. Garrus held her shoulders and looked into her eyes, making sure she could see the fierce loyalty and respect his own held for her, before speaking once more.

"You're strong, Shepard. Stronger than I think even you realise. You'll get through this. And I'll be by your side the whole way. Hopefully inspiring you the same way you've always inspired me. We'll get through this. We'll write stories about all of it, we'll star in vids about our lives. Then we'll retire somewhere warm and tropical, and live off the royalties."

She gave him a tremulous smile, and gave him a light shove.

"And to think you said you weren't any good at this."

"I'm pretty sure it was just a fluke" the turian defended. "Now if you aren't going to rest, why don't we go find somewhere to have a spar and work out all our frustrations." He followed with a playful smirk. "Although I _do_ have a reach advantage, so don't be too upset when I beat you."

Shepard couldn't help but smirk back, already starting to feel a little better. She stroked her chin in mock thought.

"I don't know about that, I have the flexibility advantage over you."

Garrus nodded, smiling widely.

"Good point. You know, this could be a lot of fun."

Shepard's eyes lidded and she gave him a smouldering look,

"Garrus Vakarian, are you _flirting_ with me?

He froze, eyes widening, then reflexively started backing away.

"What? No, I never, I was just..."

The peals of laughter that interrupted him were both music to his ears and embarrassing. If nothing else his human companion seemed to have cheered up for the moment. She attempted to catch her breath, but it was a few moments before she could properly respond.

"Oh god, the look... your face... priceless!" Another giggle slipped out before she declared "You were terrified!"

She turned on her heel, still giggling and started heading towards the door. The turian grumbled good naturedly and followed her, a fond smile on his face.


End file.
